Dean Richardson

Sometimes, we just need to talk with someone who not only listens … but shows that he’s actually understanding.  The secrets we hold in our heads can make us fear that we’ll be shamed if we were to tell anyone; working with Dean can transform that sense of shame.

When thinking about working with Dean in counselling (couples, individuals or small group) or business coaching, it can help us to know that Dean is not just interested in our (and, if couple counselling, our partner’s) most difficult struggles … some which may have been around for you for years … but that Dean is not going to be shy about inquiring into some of those matters that we’re not supposed to talk about… (at least according to how some of us were brought up to think).

Sometimes we need to be asked about the subjects in our lives no-one else will ask us about.

More about Dean:-

• Dean is a qualified male counsellor/psychotherapist who has been practising counselling/psychotherapy since 1999 and business coaching/mentoring/facilitating since 1997.
• Dean’s therapeutic work focuses on couples, individuals and small therapy groups … and he is also specialist in LGBT therapies (couples, individuals and small groups).
• He is accredited by the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy; a process that verifies his substantial levels of training, experience, practice and ongoing commitment to furthering his knowledge.
• He is an IBM-trained career coach / mentor and business-meeting facilitator.
• Dean’s counselling/therapy models involve psychodynamic, systemic and CBT/Cognitive Behavioural therapy models.

 

Dean’s Approach to Couple Counselling.

…the therapist does not impose normative (or other) views about couple functioning in general, nor about the specific solutions that might be acceptable to this couple in particular. Instead the therapist maintains a stance of open-minded curiosity […] which leads to an exploration with the couple of the history and meanings of their current situation and of their previous attempted solutions and impasses.

Jones & Asen, 2000

When relationships break down, partners have the choice: separate or resolve the conflicts.  The former seems much easier than the latter.

However, think of a human body (a “system”) infected by a virus.  Sometimes the infection is so unfamiliar the body continues to suffer illness whilst it fights.  The body system will struggle until it can figure out how to resolve the infection.  Like an infected-body, a couple’s relationship “system” can usually deal with ( or “fight” ) relationship ‘infections’ – but sometimes the relationship remains “ill” because the couple cannot figure-out how to resolve new or unfamiliar infections.

Using effective psychodynamic and systemic therapeutic methods, Dean Richardson helps the couple find ways to resolve their conflicts in ways that they often have never heard of before.

Both the partner’s, and the relationship’s, pasts are looked at to understand the ‘infections’ being brought into the relationship, and the current system is broken down to help the couple figure out how best they need to resolve the ongoing relationship conflicts.

Dean’s effective approach to couple counselling is to help the couple figure out what’s stopping their own ability to heal their own relationship.  After achieving this, couples are free to choose to leave counselling – they work on their relationship problems themselves (no further counselling costs!).  Other couples, however, choose stay past the initial problem-focussing sessions, working with Dean, the couple counsellor, until the problems are resolved to the couple’s mutual satisfaction.

 

Dean’s Approach to Individual Counselling.

The therapeutic relationship must be genuine, the encounter accurate, and the therapist a real person.

Irvin Yalom, 2011 (California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists 47th Annual Conference)

From a psychodynamic perspective, we carry around a lot of baggage.  Usually we manage.  Mostly, we don’t notice the burden. But … sometimes we find ourselves puzzled about  why  the stuff we’re carrying has become heavier … sometimes to the point were we can’t carry it any further.  What changed?

This is where Dean’s effective approach to individual counselling is to help discover the unknown, making it know, giving you back the ability to manage by yourself again. This is achieved by taking a core psychodynamic approach to counselling whilst integrating a Cognitive behavioural approach as appropriate.

In individual counselling, Dean use no magic, no clever-sounding mind-techniques (such as NLP or hypnotic language) nor props (toys, crayons etc).  To some beginning counselling for the first time it can seem like you and Dean are just talking/being social; but it’s a very special and effective kind of conversation that has helped people to rid themselves of conflicts, burden and to transform their lives.

 

Dean’s approach to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender (LGBT/Sexuality Counselling).

…more than resolving specific concrete problems, Kurt and Rob had had their couple-hood affirmed and legitimised by the therapist, a recognition they had failed to receiver anywhere else.

Greenan & Gunnell, 2003

Nowadays, most therapists will work with anyone regardless of sexual-orientation; Dean Richardson is a specialist LGBT therapist – spot the difference?!

As an LGBT-counsellor, Dean focusses on working with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples in same-gender or opposite-gender/mixed-orientation relationships – and LGBT individuals.  Even though sexuality is a part of us, no matter what our orientation, sexuality doesn’t have to be a primary reason to come into therapy.  However, being a member of a sexual-minority it can seem a little strange when a therapist asks us questions that, to us, have a heteronormative stance  (e.g. showing little knowledge – or appearing to make  assumptions - about sexuality lifestyles: relationship-monogamy, polyamorism, open-relationships, S&M/BDSM, gender-identity, closeted sexuality, trying to pass for a different gender, trying to pass for being straight/a different sexuality and so on …. and so on!).

Gay and Lesbian couples don’t have to have monogamy at the centre of their partnerships to define their sexuality nor their relationship. These are not heterosexual relationships and this requires the gay/lesbian couple-therapist to be more aware about what the partners define as a “relationship” in LGBT couples: did your last couple counsellor ask how you and your partner had agreed  on what was your anniversary date?

As one lesbian client put it: “How could explain to my ‘little-old-lady’ therapist about my relationship problems with ‘lesbian bed death’ when she had photographs of her husband, children and grandchildren around…”

Dean’s Approach to Business / Career Coaching.

Trained in 1996, Dean originally practised as an IBM Mentor/Coach and later as a Business Meeting Facilitator.  These psychological roles were employed by IBM’ers to get the best out of own their skills, management responsibilities and team-resources.

Dean’s Approach to Skype Counselling.

Not all therapists believe they can work with Skype – their philosophy may not allow for the possibilities of working creatively in a remote therapeutic relationship, employing a client’s self-awareness, emotion-awareness or cognitive-awareness from a remote/online perspective (the client is not in the same room as the therapist).

Dean does not recognise this restriction in his therapy practice – working with couples, individuals and small groups via Skype.

However you engage in with Dean, it’s his primary intention to make himself redundant  (eventually!) in the therapy.  His focus is on working alongside you to help support you and to resolve that which is getting in the way of your happy (or happier) life.  Once the therapeutic work is done, the therapy/counselling needs not to continue any longer than necessary and a plan-to-end can be discussed and arranged (no intentions of suddenly terminating sessions without warning!).

There’s no hurry for those who need time to work through things.

There’s a time-focus for those who want to work briefly and with a strong focus.

“The choice is yours – and when it feels like you have no choice, I’ll help you with that too.”

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